There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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