I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
