I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
