so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
