This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
