Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
