Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.

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(917): View more from New York City

He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

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(703): View more from Virginia

just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread

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(312): View more from Illinois

the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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(602): View more from Arizona

Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.

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(909): View more from California

I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar

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(816): View more from Missouri

I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine

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