Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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