the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
