Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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