Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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