So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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