i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
