why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
