I'm pants shitting drunk right now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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