cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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