she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
