Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
