Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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