This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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