this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
