My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
