worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
