So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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