would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
