it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
