Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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