He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize