The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
