I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
50% drunk capacity currently
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
