I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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