Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
