If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
