At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
