The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
