I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
