she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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