That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
