You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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