We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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