I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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