oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
