the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
