For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
