You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
