put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
