FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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