i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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