It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
