Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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