i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
