Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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