Jerry, you need to find god
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
