Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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