I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
