She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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