I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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