All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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