addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
