He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
