Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
