im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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